Eins - aka vicious Uno

Eins is played with Uno cards. Several decks may be used, up to one deck per person but probably best with no fewer than one deck per four players. All players must be able to reach the face up play pile, but multiple draw decks can be used. If the draw deck is insufficient (or it appears likely it will soon become insufficient) then the cards in the play pile may be shuffled and added to the draw deck so long as the last card played remains in the play pile.

Prevent anyone else from winning. A player wins when they successfully play the last card in their hand.

"That's a pretty warped objective isn't it?" Yes. Yes it is.

The dealer deals out some number of cards, decided by the dealer. There must be a draw pile remaining, so the maximum number of cards dealt will leave at least one draw card per player. The minimum deal is one card per person. Dealers most often choose five to twelve cards. The remaining draw pile is laid face down in the middle of the players and the top card is turned over and laid down to begin play. Each player should look at the cards they have been dealt, but not allow other players to see their cards, however all cards must be kept above the table.

The first player is the one to the right of the dealer. If the initial card is not a number card, the first player does not incur the penalty. For draw four cards and wild cards, the first player declares a color of choice and plays a card of that color. For draw two, skip and reverse cards, only the color is considered unless the first player chooses to play a card with a value matching (skip on skip, or reverse on reverse for example.)

Regular Play:
Each player must take one turn, either in clockwise or counter-clockwise order, to play at least one card on the pile of face up cards. Any card matching the color or the value of the proceeding card may be played. This includes playing a reverse, skip or draw card. Wild cards can be played instead of matching the previous color or value at the player's discretion.

A player must play a card if they are able to play.

If a player cannot play one of the cards in their hand, they must draw a card in the attempt to find a playable card. They must continue to draw additional cards until a playable card is drawn.

Any player can play a card that exactly matches the previous card, even when it is not their turn. When playing a sneak card on your turn, you should say "sneak, play" or "play, sneak" depending on which order you are laying down cards. Play continues as if no additional card has been played except when the sneak card is a reverse card, skip or draw card. When a sneak card is a reverse card the play order resumes previous direction. When the sneak card is a draw card, the penalized player receives an additional penalty with that value. When the sneak card is a skip, then two players are skipped instead of one.

A draw two sneak card does not have to match the color of the previous draw two card. If it is a different color, then the next card played must match that new color (except for additional draw cards and wild cards.)

When a draw two card is played, the next player in turn must draw two cards before beginning their turn.

When a draw four card is played, the person playing the card gets to declare the color that must be played next and the next player in turn must draw four cards before beginning their turn.

The draw penalty can be avoided by playing a reverse card that matches the color of the draw two card or the color declared with a draw four card. This defense reverses the direction of play back to the previous player and also sends any pending draw penalties to that player as well.

The draw penalty can be avoided by playing another draw card on top of the previous draw card. This adds to the number of cards that must be drawn and directs the penalty to the next person in order of play.

When a draw two is played defensively, it does not have to match the color declared with a draw four card and it does not have to match the previous draw or reverse card.

Sneak cards cannot be played after the player with the current turn has touched the draw deck.

When a zero is played, all players must pass their hand to the player next to them in the direction opposite of play.

And you know how unorganized his cards are.

When there are an even number of players and a seven is played, all players must pass their hand to the player opposite them (as if the players were arranged in a circle.)

Declaring Eins:
When a player has one card left, they must say "Eins" after laying down their second to last card and before anyone else does. A player must draw eight additional cards if they are holding only one card and someone else calls "Eins" for them. However, if someone attempts to call "Eins" incorrectly, the incorrect player must draw ten cards. When passing hands due to a zero or seven play, the recipient of a single card hand is required to declare "Eins" as soon as it is not being touched by the former hand holder. If a player has a single card hand and that card is laid down on the table before a seven or zero is played, then the recipient of the single card hand must say "Eins" as soon as the seven or zero stops being touched by the active player.

Eins Heins Mines

"Eins" rhymes with "mines" and "Heinz" (as in steak sauce) but failure to declare "Eins" due to saying the wrong word should be forgiven. However a savvy player may say "Heinz" when holding two cards in order to get other players to declare "Eins" for them. This actually incurs the ten card penalty for the incorrect call, so long as the word is clearly not "Eins."