Warning

The document you are viewing may not display correctly
This document is meant to be humorous,
please see the footnotes for useful information.

The document you are viewing is best displayed in a browser. Any browser.¹ But that may not save you. It probably wasn't spell checked, likely contains coding errors and may be designed to adhere to a standard that doesn't exist.

Enabling JavaScript may help. Or not.

Enabling cookies may help, likely not.

Flash and other multi-media probably will not help.

For best results I recommend getting a Pentium I machine, and running Lynx² on it from a console. It won't make the pages any prettier, but it will prohibit all sorts of stuff on all sorts of pages you probably didn't need to see anyway.

For those of you who are determined to have things like pictures and interactive pages, I recommend Firefox³ since it works in Linux, Mac and Windows and generally does a decent job of presenting web pages. You should probably add on NoScript⁴, Adblock Plus⁵, Adblock Filterset G Updater, Flashblock⁶, Fullerscreen⁷ and Long Titles⁸ since you're going to get a lot of advertisements, cramped viewing and want to see more than is healthy anyway.

As long as you're going that route, check out Foxmarks⁹ too, because using a GUI system means that you'll almost certainly have to upgrade stuff occasionally and eventually your system will crash. Don't say I didn't warn you.¹⁰

¹ I really do try to design my web pages to be compatible with all the common browsers and not rely on scripting or other non-html technology for content ⇑

² Lynx is a text only browser that will display web pages and is reliable if ugly ⇑

³ Firefox is one of the best browsers available and widely popular for many good reasons. ⇑

⁴ This will assume websites cannot be trusted and refuse to let them do anything that might break your system unless you explicitly give them permission. It tends to speed up many pages tremendously ⇑

⁵ Advertising has it's place, but until people figure out how to do it without interrupting your access to what you are after, this is a life saver. You should consider turning it off for sites that you want to support so that they can generate advertisement revenue. ⇑

⁶ Flash is one of the most misused tools on the Internet. This will replace all the Flash that would slow your access and clutter your pages with a gray box you can click to get the missing content. If you have this and NoScript both, you should enable Flash in the NoScript options since this does a better job. ⇑

⁷ If you browse in full screen mode, this will let Firefox take up the true full screen gracefully ⇑

⁸ Firefox limits how displayable titles can be, but this allows the full title no matter how long it is. ⇑

⁹ Foxmarks will synchronize your local bookmarks with an account online. This makes it easy to move from machine to machine and keep all your bookmarks at hand, and if you have to start over, it will mean you still have your bookmarks available. ⇑

¹⁰ This page was really full of good advise disguised as cynicism. I particularly like the bit about putting all the friendly advice in footnotes since that is where you usually find all sorts of nasty surprises instead. ⇑